I wonder if I just don't want to go to school right now... I don't know. I'm unsure about whether this education will lead in a direction in which I want to go. Will it be worth it?
I overate today, too. Didn't get my water, my fruits/vegetables, my vitamin, or exercise. Only got one teaspoon of healthy oil and all of my dairy.
Got a voice mail from my sponsee who is struggling. She cancelled an appointment with her psychiatrist, even thought we talked about how she didn't want to do it yesterday and she agreed that she doesn't want to do much. We talked about "doing it scared." Which is what I'm doing by picking up my commitment to the 10th step again.
Today's 10th Step
Good Stuff
- I cleaned up after myself in the kitchen
- I started up my 10th step commitment again and I'm going to call my sponsor
- Again, I recognize that overeating is selfish. It delays my weight loss and delays the day when my husband will sleep with me
- Procrastinating on schoolwork is also selfish; I am not the only person affected by my success or failure at this endeavor
- I can't think of an instance of resentment from today or yesterday
- I can't think of an instance of dishonesty from today or yesterday
- I'm afraid that I will not do a good job on the paper I have due Wednesday; that fear is partially responsible for the procrastination, which is selfish and leads to anxiety and overeating
- I'm going to call my sponsor and tell her all of this
- I'm going to skip my knitting class tomorrow and get the paper done as soon as I get home